Welcome To St David's

Welcome to St David's

So, let's see what we have established so far:

I was born and went to kindergarten, was a hell beast in kindergarten, thus causing my parents to baptise the demon out of me and sent me to catholic school.

Got that so far? Good.

By the way, is it weird that I am writing about my school days while listening to the music of Spinal Tap? Just a questionable observation that I came up with. Anywho, let us move on, shall we?

I started first grade at St David's School in Richmond, CA in 1979 (damn I'm old). Remember that hell beast I was in kindergarten? well, he kind of stayed around in first grade. Let's just say my first impression on those who would wind up some of my best friends in life at first thought I was....something. Especially B.A. (remember I am not using real names, but if you can figure out whose initials those are, you win a cookie).

B.A. was sitting next to me on a bench at lunch and I was trying to read from the first grade reader. I was fascinated with reading even at an early age and it is something that has stayed with me in my life. Well, for some damn reason I felt I needed to fixate on the word "but" on the page I was reading. I was reading anything else out loud, just repeating the word "but" and saying it with a smile (I present this as Exhibit B that gay people are born gay). B.A. was not amused, in fact he was very verbally disgusted. Here it was, day three into my new school, and I got my first detention for this. Go me.

Fortunately B.A. and I went on to become the best of friends. Kids and their short attention spans. Gotta love it....at times.

My class consisted of more boys than girls, a trend with out class that would continue up until I left and went to high school. Some girls would come and go but many stayed. One included my friend W.F. (again, guess the name by initials and win....a jelly bean). W.F. and I, no exaggeration, knew each other since we were one year old. The reason is because her mom was the sister of my mom's #1 BFF who just also happens to be my Godmother. So because of this, we were always around each other, be it at events like 4Th of July picnics or just hanging out. I even remember going over to her house while my dad and her dad would discuss football, my mom and her mom would discuss....mom things, and W.F. and I would play with her Strawberry Shortcake dolls (I present this as Exhibit C BTW).

I can honestly say if there is one thing W.F. helped me out in, it was keeping me in check. When school began my world got smaller because of her so it was no stopping the fact if bad news got back to my family about me being a little shit. I honestly now thank her for that. I am sure if she was not their to verbally kick my ass I would not be the well behaved Tasmanian Devil on crack that I am today: I would be worse. So thank you W.F.

First grade was also the class where I made my first BFF for life: A.G. (insert nummy prize here for guessing). A.G. and I would become thick as thieves over the years, even in high school. I can honestly say he went on to become one of the best friends I ever had. What drew us together? That fact that we lived in walking distance from each other. Oh, and he had an Atari 2600. I do not know if any of you are old enough to remember, but if you had an Atari 2600 at your house, your house became party central, especially on your birthday. Who needs party planning when you have Combat in it's glowing 2 bit graphic glory? Take THAT Nintendo Wii!

St David's was also the first time in my life that I got to experience first hand nuns. The mother superior was also our school principal, and while she was nice, if you did something bad you felt her wrath. I have a story involving her but we will not get into that until I move on to the second grade. Pretty much my only interaction with her in the first grade was when she would make over-com announcements and came to see the class.

You know those calendars called "Nuns Having Fun"? It is a yearly calendar depicting nuns having fun (well duh, Roy). This is where you get to see people like Sister Mary Elizabeth Eliza Dushku of The Five Wounds playing on the beach. Well, Mother Superior Principal was the same way. She was not afraid to play kick ball with us in her Sister Act style nun outfit, and honestly I liked that. Especially since the only images I had of nuns until then were the ones from "The Sound of Music", "The Trouble With Angels", and those TV shows that had the nuns taking rulers to naughty kids' knuckles. It was nice to see a nun have fun in the flesh. So the next time you see those calendars know that yes indeed nuns do like to have fun. I wonder if Cyndi Lauper can write a song concerning that subject matter?

In first grade I was introduced to many many traditions at St David's. The first being the annual Halloween Carnival. Us students loved this day for many reasons: 1) It was a half day. 2) We got to come to school dressed in costumes to be judged. 3) Game booths where we competed for plastic spider rings and other trick or treat treasures, and finally 4) The Haunted House sponsored by the 8Th Graders. See the 8Th grade class would raise funds throughout the year to help pay for their graduation trip to the local theme park Great America. Great America kicked major bootay in the roller coaster department and was guaranteed fun. One of the ways they raised money was to host a haunted house. It was a tradition that even our class had to do when we got there (that is another story for anther time).

The haunted house was a walk through located, at the time, in the music room. You would wander through the hand made maze, have hands try to grab you under the table, and experience other scares. It was the talk of the class the next day. I guess the 8Th graders did their jobs right.

The next tradition? Echo Hall. At the time, Echo Hall was a hallway on the lower level of the school that had the girl's bathroom, a janitor's closet, and some of the best acoustics I have ever heard. It was called Echo Hall for a reason. The teachers did not want us to run through and create noise for a reason. Think we listened? Later in the years they would close off Echo Hall to prevent students from playing tag through the hall. Too bad too, because it was one of my favorite sounds ever growing up.

The third and final tradition I was introduced to was St David's Olympics. Back in the long long ago when schools actually cared about the physical fitness of it's students, our school would host for one day an event where we would take a break from academics and compete in fetes of skill and athletic ability. events like the 100 yard dash, distance jumping, baseball throwing, stuff like that. we would dress in athletic style clothes, give our class a team name, make a banner, and compete. It was honestly loads of fun and was a nice break from being stuck in the class all day long. I do not know if they do this anymore. if not, it truly is a shame because physical fitness is so needed in schools now more than ever.

Our teacher's name was Mrs Harms (yes I am using her name) and she was a really nice woman. However she was pregnant when we came to her class and midway through she had to go on maternity leave because...well she was pregnant. In stepped another nice lady and future politician Maria Viramontes. What was interesting about her was when Maria was around, I was well behaved. I do not know why, it was not like she was this evil intimidating woman, she was very sweet. Who knows.

So, this is all I can remember about first grade experiences at St David's. Tune in next time as I will discuss my experiences in the second grade, ranging from my first battle with strep throat, the joys of detention, and that story I promised about me and Mother Superior. Until then, tah tah.